a note on a parenthetical weekend

Do you know what melancholy feels like? Right now it’s a light headedness combined with a slight case of nausea and that is only the physical aspect, really the most minor part. For someone who claims to know myself pretty well and how I react in situations I am certainly able to surprise myself. Regardless I repeat myself, or I repeat the circumstance. Or maybe it is that the situation is different this time (aren’t they always) or maybe it is just me newfound ability to see it in a clearer light. I must have decided somewhere along the line that it was worth the risk. Or maybe that was a decision that I never made, just a fact and part of the necessity of living.