"You are a strong person and this is a learning experience" (The Sweater)

It was Saturday and we were sitting at Bob's Java. I had just taken the last sips of my iced chai and we had switched seats in order that she might better see her computer screen while she wrote. The window was open and it was one of those early fall days when the cool air still felt refreshing and I felt no resentment towards it like I knew I would in the months to come.

"Sometimes...” I said and looked out at the people passing by, "sometimes I just want to be written."

She seemed to know what I meant even before I started babbling my explanation.

"I want to be written in that way that so many women before me have been written. I know that I have written him and I know him, bits and pieces of him anyway... the same way that people talk about the one they see in their dreams. My dreams happen on paper. I don't have him planned out and I know that he will surprise me much like a punch in the throat . I want him to be amazed by me in all my oddness and strange moments - when I can't sit still and keep my mouth shut to when I feel speech unnecessary and would rather just take it all in. I don't want to be written in the way that is planned and expected, but rather discovered and rejoiced at."

I am a hopeless romantic, a mutant whose heart is pinned to her sleeve instead of laying protected beneath my skeleton. I am not a science experiment. Do not put me in situations to see how I'll react just so you can transcribe the moment - I do that to myself already.